So I have given up caffeine for Lent. For the first week of Lent. After that, week by week, it will be processed sugar, alcohol, nicotine, and eventually I will fast for the last few days. I do not say this to brag at all. In fact I am hesitant to post the list which I intend to give up for God but it relates to the topic of the post. You see I have been drinking juice and water a lot already since I have had the symptoms of a kidney infection. I haven’t had a drink all week (not that I drink much to being with) and I have been eating better in order to prepare myself for the fast at the end of Lent.

I say all that to say this. I feel completely miserable right now. I should feel better than I have in a while. I don’t mean my kidneys hurt from the apparent infection. I mean I feel worn out, worn down, and all over beat up. I feel a sore throat coming on, along with joint aches, back aches not due to the kidneys, hot and cold flashes not due to fever, random coughing fits, and an all over feeling of just being tired. Now if I were a heavy drinker I would think I was having DTs but since I drink once a week at the most and it hasn’t even been a week since my last drink we can eliminate that possibility. I am getting enough sleep so it’s not exhaustion. The current flu is a stomach flu and doesn’t have the symptoms I possess so that can be ruled out as well. The lack of fever eliminates a lot of options. My only other guess is environmental so I will be wiping down my desk with bleach wipes every day for a while and using the hand lotion that kills germs.

It is maddening, to be honest, to start eating better, drinking better, cutting down on smokes, and everything I am doing only to become miserable. I don’t know how to handle it mentally to be honest. I am quite surly right now and not getting much done at work. Of course “not much” for me still impresses the boss. I am on the verge of depression over this. It doesn’t follow. I am still feeding my one addiction so it’s not withdrawal from nicotine. I weened the caffeine monster slow and haven’t had even one headache so I know it’s not that either. I think I will go curl up under the covers and wait for the wife to come to bed and rub my back.