Well it’s right after lunch and I am posting from the men’s room on the blackberry. The day is half over and shows no signs of ending. The new Lotus Notes client came out today with a borked installer so I haven’t got to play with it. I am overloading myself with two late night changes this week to install firewalls on a bunch of servers! It will be hell but I want to move on to the next project and soon. This has been killing me! The drudgery and boredom past the initial research is just insane.
See I can whine about work without saying one bad word about anyone! That felt good…
One more tight, but not broke, pay period and we are out of the woods. I am looking forward to that for sure.
Fry’s is going to kill me. But they did take months to fix my computer so they can wait a while for me to pick it up.
So randmon and so cheap. What did you expect from the men’s room?
Yeah you should listen to the song while reading. It will make more sense.
Jason Boland - The Bourbon Legend
I you think about it you know what sort of mark you will leave. And that is even if you won’t leave any mark at all. I got thinkin’ about this because of a song. Yeah I know it’s hard to imagine but bear with me. I was digging on The Bouron Legend today and started thinkin’ about how we each have our own legends. Mine is kind of fun to be honest. I know how my friends see me by what they call me to do with them and for what they think they can count on me for.
I get called to go drinkin’ or go to shows. I get relied on to have people’s back in a fight. I get called for parties and to go to karaoke. I get called very rarely for relationship problems.
I guess I can relate to the bourbon legend idea a whole lot. I have friends that tell stories about me that never went down, stories that went down a whole lot different, and stories that are true. The thing that seems odd to me about this is that people tell stories about me. It’s not just one or two people it’s a bunch of my friends. I tell stories about myself but that is because I like to tell stories. I tell stories about other people as well. My friends all tell stories about me and frequently to people I have never met. These people meet me and relate the stories back to me. I am not a legend of any great proportion but there is an aspect of legend to my life through these stories. I don’t correct the wrong ones and I guess I maybe should but to be frank I enjoy seeing where they go with this me that is not me.
According to my friends, and most of this may or may not be true, and I ain’t bragging just relatin’, I am someone you want on your side in a fight, someone you don’t want to be in hand of poker with, someone who can drink superhuman amounts of beer, jaeger, and or whiskey, someone who knows everyone, someone who is there when you need them, someone who puts his family first and still makes time to party, someone who is crazy, someone who is able to fix your computer over the phone. I don’t mind this reputation. I also have a bad reputation amongst some crowds and that’s fine as well. Our reputations are usually self made and the good Lord knows I am no saint.
I guess I am amused by the dichotomy. The more I think about it the more I realize I am really a love him or hate him kind of guy. I don’t know a single person who is ambiguous about me. It’s kind of fun. It’s also kind of hard to live up to the reputation that proceeds me at times. I almost cringe when I hear “Oh you’re the Rodeo Clown! I have heard so much about, let me buy you a drink”. And that’s no hyperbole. The nickname changes depending on the crowd but someone is always buying me a drink and wanting to hear a story. I guess I am happy to be entertaining for the most part.
The only regret I have about the Jaeger Legend thing that seems to be going on is the sad fact I haven’t been able to put my stories to music. I can tell them like they are campfire stories and do so with a bard’s tongue at times but I can’t seem to make lyrics out of them. So I have to use other people’s music as my soundtrack. Such is the life of a Jaeger Legend.
Not me of course, I don’t get carried out but read on it’s a good story.
Friday night and I’m nearly broke. I manage to scrape up enough dosh to go and see Jason Boland play the firehouse. I called just about everybody but even the people that had promised to go backed out due to various reasons. So I ended up at the show by myself. Rockstar called and so during the opening act I bailed to grab him and Cornflake. When I got there some #’s crowd kid was sitting in my chair at their place. Of course this is a new development as it’s been Cornflake’s friends who do not grasp the concept of that being my chair. I decided to be nice since he was going with us and I just stole Rockstar’s chair and grabbed a Lone Star. I had a bucket on ice back at the show but one more surely wasn’t going to hurt the cause. I tried to tell #’s boy that leaving his purse in the car once we got to the show would be a good idea but apparently he didn’t take me too seriously.
Without incident we got the show long before the opening act was over. That Ryan Turner has some damn good stamina. I retrieved my bucket of Lone Star from the bar and headed back out into the crowd. It wasn’t long before the opening act was done and Jason Boland was ready to take the stage. We secured a good spot near the middle of the stage where we could see and from the first song it was, as it always is, a sing-a-long.
The group of guys by which we were standing were attempting to dance with a group of girls near them and failing. They weren’t failing at getting the girls to agree to dance with them but rather at the actual dacing part. I watched with detached amusement for a while and the cut in and showed those youngsters exactly how it’s done. They showed me their appreciation by giving me beer. It was diet beer but when it’s free that really doesn’t matter. Rockstar and Cornflake were edging towards the stage all the while so I hung back with my new found bucket of beer friends and enjoyed the show.
The show went on and it went well. The band got the crowd going and then all hell broke loose.
I am going to tell this part from the pieces of the story I got later since I didn’t actually see any of this go down.
Rockstar and Cornflake had edged their way up the stage and parked themselves next to a biker and his old lady. I know the biker from a couple of shows at the firehouse and he’s a pretty cool dude on top of that his old lady is as sweet as they come. For some backstory let me just state clearly that chicks can’t hold their smoke Cornflake can’t handle her booze. On the way back to the can the biker bumped into Conrflake and apparently either didn’t say sorry or didn’t say it loud enough for her to hear. So she exploded. I don’t mean like yelled at the guy but rather came at him like she wanted to fight. Now as I said he is a nice guy so he just backed up and tried to talk her down. He even told his old lady that there was no reason to fight. Rockstar grabbed Cornflake but since he’s skinny and was good and drunk he couldn’t hold her. This was about the time I became aware of the situation. I looked up and Rockstar asked for a little help. So like any good friend would do I slid through the crowd, locked up Cornflake, and dragged her off to the side. She’s a fiesty little thing and so I had to stop to get a better grip beside the stage.
Rockstar and I both tried to talk her down but she wasn’t having any of it. With a look and a nod I grabbed her legs and Rockstar grabbed her top and away we went. The crowd parted like the Red Sea and we got out the door without further incident. The Rockstar hadto go back in to get her pruse so I ended up with the job of babysitting her out front. I didn’t want the job but it’s what friends do. When she wouldn’t shut the hell up I decided I ought to let her know the score. I explained in no uncertain terms that she was to shut the hell and sit the hell down or I was going to the car and the gentlemen in the blue suits with shiney badges would be happy to explain to her the nuances of the term “public intoxication”. This finally got through to her and she shut up. Of course she was damn near vibrating from anger but I personally didn’t give a damn.
I had to go back in myself so when Rockstar came out I gave him the car keys and went back in. I stayed fro two more song because I damn well wanted to and then headed back to the car. I got in and turned the key and about the time the engine started so did Cornflake. Without stopping I gave her everything I had. I lit into her from ruining my show, for stopping me from delivering the message I had been asked to deliver (that part is personal and you guys don’t get to know), and for being a bitch in general. She finally shut up when she realized I wasn’t kidding about pulling over on the freeway and kicking her out of my car.
When we got back to their house the Rcokstar just kept apologizing over and over. This was not necessary as I have been the one that caused people to leave early myself and besides I had taken care of her whinging on anyway. I stayed just long enough to explain to Cornflake that if she kept up with the drinking she would end up in a bad place and the next time I wasn’t going to help bail her out then I took my leave and headed home.
All in all I missed a total of two songs and had a great time in spite of her antics. I won’t be taking her to anymore shows. She has burned that bridge. Me, well, I will be back to see Max Stalling on the 10th and in March I plan to make at least two of the three shows I rally want to see. I can’t invite the Rockstar because of his psycho wife but you know there are always people to meet at the shows and always other friends to drag along. Yeah Killcrazy that means you need to be ready next Friday night and not be whining about being tired and having a headache. You sounded like we were married and I wanted sex or something the last time we talked. “I am so tired, I have a headache”. Get over it! You are going out next weekend.
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